SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
i have 47 hours on da game
October 22nd 2025, 10:05PM
hello! its been quite a while. i was busy and sad so i couldnt even write here. today my gloops monkey was delivered. gloops is an old french plushie company that went out of business, so all of their plushies are discontinued. i already have a pink elephant made by them, but i wanted to add to my collection!! that one ebay listing was literally the only plushie that was for sale by gloops that i could find. i hope i find more, id like to have a trio :) heres a picture. im too lazy to take one myself so ill just put the picture in the listing here lol.
thats really all i have to say. its been a little tough recently. im not sure what to do with myself. but itll be fine. :) i have one more thing to show you, its a video of two nice cats. theyre very nice. thats all! please stay safe :) and i promise ill write more often from now on!!
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
my akira figure :)
October 5th 2025, 6:23PM
hello!! i hope youre well. today i went to get that lavender plant. it looks pretty nice if i do say so myself. heres a picture!
quite cool. it hasn't flowered very much, but its winter so yknow. ive always liked lavender. purple is my favorite color and lavender reminds me of playing in my grandpa's huge garden and picking the lavender that was there. he sold the house. but now i have my own lavender. you can see my ritsu plushie in the corner lol. yesterday when my boyfriend was over my dad wouldnt shut up about the FIGHTING GAME INCIDENT because we were speaking about making some prints of my work. genuinely one of the biggest mistakes of my life. will i be haunted by the fact that i cant draw people fighting for the rest of my life? will there one day come a time when i'll have to explain what the "gay drawing" is to my extended family at the dinner table on christmas? dad, i will never let you see this website. ill never hear the end of it until im in my grave. stop asking.
im really hungry right now...i dont know what to eat. AH I JUST REMEMBERED SHINICHI TSUTSUMI. i was watching postman blues yesterday and its really nice so far. tsutsumi is great in it. shinichi tsutsumi is joe sawashiro from yakuza: like a dragon's voice actor and face provider and i loved him in that so ive started my quest to watch every single thing hes credited as being in. hes still acting to this day and he started in 1985. man. thats nuts. next im going to watch climbers high, then monday, then keihou, then dangan ranna, and finally unlucky monkey. and also super salaryman sanaei-shi. tsutsumi's been in a lot of movies directed by sabu. he seems to like making movies focused on the yakuza quite a lot lol. oh also i ate some chicken noodles. and now i have nothing else to say. ill write about the movies when i finish them all!!! ill stop here. thanks for reading! :)
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
YAY WEEKEND!!!
October 4th 2025, 7:25PM
hey! hope youre doing well. i was listening to sad music yesterday. whenever i listen to a sad opera song for some reason i imagine a terrible and tragic thing happening to me, something that i will never recover from for the rest of my life. it really adds to the experience. earlier i told my mom and dad that they were the best mom and dad in the world because i was emotional from listening to peaceful sleep from the nier automata soundtrack.
today i had a good day, which is strange. its not like i have bad days, but i dont usually have good ones. i got complimented by my teacher for answering a question, and i ate cookies with my boyfriend, and i saw friends, and i went to an antique junk shop with my mom after i got out of college at 1. and i wore my new jeans. and i made some beans and didnt burn them. and i noticed that i was a lot more confident, and i laughed more, and i wasnt nervous or stuttering. when i spoke to the canteen lady i speak to every day i smiled at her and said bye and everything... and usually in a social interaction my brain just switches off and by the time its over i dont even realize what i said, but i really did say it. whenever im happy, im more confident. funny how that works huh? it was crazy. to a person as lame as me, i really liked today. i think i have days like this once a year. i hope they happen more often, so im going to try and do more fun things. when i speak to people, it makes my day better. im always scared of people but when im having a good day it feels like im apart of the world. like im not an outsider trying to get in, but im really human. and i like smiling with people. do i sound like spongebob? even if this type of today doesnt come tomorrow, ill just keep trying to make my days nice. by speaking to people... i spoke to an old lady on the bus the other day. i was sat on the outer seat so i had to get up so she could get off, and i got up too early and she told me that i could sit back down. then we had a conversation about how packed the bus was. never in my life did i think i would ever have a conversation with a 70 year old lady on the bus. and it was nice. i got up for her, and she said goodbye and left. and i felt human. ive been left out of social interactions for so much of my life that even things as normal as speaking to someone on the bus feels like a monumental part of my day. it feels like im so far behind everyone else. but i want to catch up and have fun as well. i dont want to be scared anymore. so im going to keep trying hard. a girl sat next to me on the bus today and her water bottle fell out of her bag and kept rolling around under the seat in front of me and i was so conflicted as to if i should say something. it was pretty funny. she got her bottle back, because it wasnt rolling that far. i shouldve just picked it up for her so she didnt need to. i felt bad. i hate that i can never go through with what i want to do. i wanted to draw a smiley face on the condensation on the window and i didnt cuz i didnt wanna look stupid. but then a couple got on and sat down in front of me and started drawing cats and evil faces on the window. and i felt really stupid. literally who cares. so next time it gets really rainy outside im gonna draw on the window... and im gonna pick up that stupid bottle if that hyperspecific situation ever occurs again. or just not be scared to interact with people in general!!!
anyway enough of that. i bought a sony walkman NWD-B105 today. because of persona 3 obviously. i just like that there is a specific gadget that you use to listen to music. a designated listening device. i have a perfectly normal phone, but its less cool... that one is for my alarm and emails and pinterest and to remind me to water my plant. i wanted a funny gadget specifically used to listen to music, not 1000 other things also because it runs my battery down too quick. ALSO NO ADS YAY! my dad came into my room and said that he'd send me warhammer 40k lore videos once i got it to listen on the bus and he was gonna send me a 3 hour long one lol. he still listens to them sometimes even though hes never played the game cuz he wanted to play it when he was my age. ??? will i still be the exact same? watching persona lore videos. instead of the x files and star wars, its resident evil and persona. im going to the plant store with my mom tomorrow. im excited to get a new plant.. ive proved myself worthy by not letting my plant die for at least 6 months! crazy. im going to get a nice lavender plant :) well, thats all! thanks for reading :D
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
imposter syndrome is not real to me. get away stupid bug.
September 30th 2025, 3:14AM
jesus, im tired. i hope youre having a good day. like i said from the last entry, i ended up making another part of the site specifically for one of my drawings of roro that i had made lol. it tells you a little bit about her as well. but i had fun, so it was worth sacrificing my sleep time. just click on the thumbnail to get to it. please be warned that it definitely doesn't look like the rest of the site, it looks more like the stuff i've been working on for sillian recently lol. im also gonna make some pages that look similar to the current site, cuz it just hurts my sappy heart to wipe it away completely. so, today's thumbnail entry is the biggest evil bad guy criminal stupidhead ever, who ends up getting killed in one of my stories by the hero (called yamada). it took me so long to finish drawing him. i put another entry thumbnail as the start of this drawing as well. i really like drawing faces and figures. but i feel like my creativity has dwindled a little. ill get back up there. ive definitely improved!! sometimes i just look at my old google drive full of my old art and its like i get a flick in the forehead and i feel a bit better about my art. but i still have a long way to go.
k im back. i made a burger. burger, lettuce, ketchup, mustard, the usual. it tasted average. i got kinda scared downstairs cuz i dont like being alone down there. im afraid of ghosts and stuff. sounds stupid. i made a cup of tea too, so im full now. so yeah hope you enjoyed my completely pointless burger talk. right now im listening to latte asmr. latte is literally the only asmrist i can fall asleep to. shes wonderful and so talented!!!!! sometimes i listen to her videos when i draw which probably isnt very productive. im watching her robot cleaning lady video. please watch if u havent youll literally fall asleep like a log!!!!
well, im super duper tired so ill stop here. im glad that i could write today. thanks for reading! i hope you have a good rest of your day. :)
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
this week flew by!!!!!!
September 29th 2025, 1:17AM
heya :) hope youre good! today's entry thumbnail is the wonderful roro. i made her. her name used to be saya yamabuki but i couldnt keep ripping off bandori so i changed it lol. shes been around for years but ive only really drawn her twice. i only write about her character and stuff. i wish this stupid image would be better quality. k sorry this entry took 2 extra days to write cuz i was gonna create another part of the site for her but neocities is acting up for some reason and not doing what i want it to do. im angry!!! i had a hot chocolate today. i also bought some clothes. last time i bought clothes was a year ago i think, except from christmas presents. i hate spending money on clothes cuz it feels like im wasting money!!!! what else am i gonna do with it??? nothing. im not a fashionista..i like collecting trinkets... i have class tomorrow at 9:40 AM. i have a 2 hour art class but i wanna draw my funny guys for the website. also my dad is STILL talking about rusty river and the rustbuckets. its cuz i mentioned that i wanted to get another shirt printed with a design i made and he politely reminded me that he asked me to make him 3 album covers, 5 flyers and 10 tshirt designs for his fake band that he wanted to put on spotify and trick people with. ??? i just went to get a cup of tea and i dropped one of my cheese and onion flavored potato snacks into my tea. it still tasted ok. it was an interesting combination. im sorry i have literally nothing to say this entry. maybe ill get roro's part of the website up and running eventually and ill come back and link it here lol. well i hope you've been doing well. have you eaten anything good lately? seen what color the sky is? slept good? i cant hear your answer, but i hope you've had many good things happen. i hope you enjoy my stupid ramblings. its strange to think that you know nothing of me except seriously stupid situations that ive been in. even so, id like to thank you for letting me tell you them. i hope you enjoy today and all of the days to come until the sun explodes. thanks for reading! :D
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
will i ever be able to draw a man that isn't some kind of clone of him
September 26th 2025, 7:45AM
hey! hope youre doing great! i dont have to take law anymore!!! i switched over to english lit today. i start tomorrow. so im happy about that! anyway, do you ever get this? where you hear someone's name, but you don't fully take it in? like how it sounds, or the essence of their name? i dont know how to explain it. sometimes i just have these bazoing moments where i finally hear someone's name in my head clearly and it actually sounds like a name. most names just sound like random sounds to me. ive finally realized that miles's name is miles. i mean ive known his name for a long while, but i never fully took it in. maybe i just sound stupid. but do you ever feel like that? its a strange feeling. miles is one of my favorite characters of all time. he's so wonderful. recently i was playing the ace attorney trilogy and ace attorney investigations 1 and 2 demos with my dad and he seemed to like him as well. he was kinda bullying him but we both had a great time. he even caught onto narumitsu and it was unbearable sitting next to him for a while. "do they have something going on?" etc. no dad. i dont think they do. it was way funner playing investigations than the mainline series together cuz its a lot more fun just investigating crime scenes. sadly we were only trying out the demo... but it was fun to share my interest with someone else. i started drawing those stupid airvents on his head in a lot of my own art too. ace attorney itself has effected my artstyle quite a bit lol.
ive been feeling kind of boring lately. maybe i should do some cool things. what should i do? become a skater? learn how to spraypaint? learn how to dance? ive been meaning to play pingpong lately. i love pingpong. its the best sport. so i think ill do that. ill report back my findings once i do it. once again i fell asleep on the bus today. both there and back. it was noisy as hell but i was just so tired. i can seriously sleep anywhere. doesnt matter where. bowling alley? sure. a bench right next to a busy road? done it. hardwood flooring? yes. in a flooded tent with a massive puddle submerging me in it? yes. and it was hell. but i still slept. a crowded bus is nothing. i kept accidentally falling asleep. my dad keeps getting mad at me cuz he thinks that i'll miss my stop one day and end up in the middle of nowhere. hes probably right, but ive been having some long days lately. im sure itll be fine. the latest im out for is 8 till 6 on some days. days like that just wipe me out. can you really blame me? im a sleepy dude. why should i be made to endure my tiredness? slumber just calls me. i cant really do much about it. but i probably should stop this habit while i still can otherwise i will probably end up in the middle of nowhere. well, thats all i have to say. halloween is soon. i like festive things. ive always wanted to draw a halloween themed drawing but im always too late to. anyway, thats all. :) thanks for reading and please stay safe!
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
i hate weekdays!!!!!
September 23rd 2025, 4:16AM
hey you! luckily i get to wake up at 11 today or id be screwed. i worked on today's entry thumbnail allllll night. hes still nowhere near done lol. hopefully i dont lose my spunk and forget how to draw tomorrow. most of the time when i try to look back at how i started a drawing i just think "how did i even do that" so i have to look back at the timelapse. im sorry for the poor quality, i couldnt really put it here in its original size lol. maybe ill put it somewhere. he looks like a ripoff of sakuragi from slam dunk. i have art today as well. im dying. but everything is good cuz i drank some tasty juice last night :) my dad keeps trying to convince me to switch over to a graphic design course, and hes slowly convincing me. he made up a whole elaborate plan to trick me into practicing it through a niche western country band he made up called "rusty river and the rustbuckets". theyre a trio of guitar, drums and singer (rusty river) and rusty river has a big head cuz he likes being in the spotlight. my dad said he needed 3 album covers for his new parody band to trick people into thinking that his band was really real on the internet. he said he'd pay me 120 bucks for 3 album covers. then i realized he was tricking me. he was trying to get me to graphic design. i really liked the idea of drawing cowboys to be honest. but i ended up drawing knockoff sakuragi instead. :) im tired so i wanna sleep. i missed the bus twice yesterday so i just wanna get a good start today and have a good day. i got my picture frame by the way. its TINY. i thought it'd be so much bigger but its like 2 inches wide. it was funny unwrapping it. i put a picture of leon in it. ill put it as the next entry thumbnail :) i started writing this but i can barely spell properly right now. many many spellchecks. im gonna go to bed. thanks for reading and stay safe :)
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
i love the weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 21st 2025, 1:18AM
hello and i hope you've been well!! today's entry thumbnail is art from the FIGHTING GAME INCIDENT on the right. if you haven't read the entry where i talked about it, it's from august 3rd! the entry where i talked about it was slightly misleading, because i said that "i drew two characters i had completely made up for the occasion", but that was a lie. that was the first ever sketch i had done of kanade and yamada together. if you don't know who i'm talking about, please read my terrible entry from august 14th! or the yamakana shrine that i haven't finished yet if you're reading this way into the future lol. the art on the right is a very early sketch of yamada. he was supposed to have much spikier hair. his personality was originally going to be a lot more serious and stuck-up. very not the case now. and the art on the left is something i drew a few days ago. i wanted to redraw my old yamada sketch from late april cuz i wasn't happy with it, but i thought that it'd be cute if i made it kanade instead. i just wanted to prove to myself that i've improved. kanade's hair isn't actually white, its black. kinda confusing sorry. i wanted to change the color palette a little. yknow sometimes i wonder how im gonna get a career. am i really gonna be the guy designing the next leon for resident evil 24.
i was watching brad mondo yesterday and i told my mom. she was laughing about it and asked me if i was watching one if his bleach hair fail videos but i was just watching the haircut ones. so i tried watching a bleach fail one, and god they are awful. i hate the haircut ones more though cuz at least if you bleach it you can try and correct the color. once you cut your hair its just gone forever. its so hard to watch lol. its funny that brad mondo is kind of a household name though. it must be cuz of facebook cuz my mom always watches his videos on there. well, i have literally nothing else to say. i ordered a picture frame. its pretty cute. i dont have a picture to put in it and i only bought it because it looked nice lol. ill just put an image of leon in there or something.
these are my favorite leon images of all time. the one on the right is my psp wallpaper lol. its kinda beautiful. ive genuinely wanted cargo pants like leon's for such a long time. i should just get some already. ive run out of things to say. ill end it here! i hope you've have a good day. thank you for reading and please stay safe. :)
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
"cans and jars; all nonperishables. reminds me of the days of o.r.e."
September 17th 2025, 8:05PM
today's entry thumbnail has to be one of the hardest images i've ever saved on my computer. hello, i hope you're doing well! i have a problem that i want to talk about. i'm close to finishing resident evil 4, and i'm getting insanely engrossed in the character of leon kennedy. i think he's a wonderfully written character. even in re4, in a game that took half of it's inspiration from b-rated action movies. i really appreciate him and he's pushed me to be a lot more brave. i love how they writ his unending witty, sarcastic humor and charm, but also took the time to really explore what effect re2 had on him. leon kennedy isn't a superhero, or a genius, and he doesn't have superhuman strength (although the moves he sometimes pulls off are just outrageous). he is just a regular guy that dedicates his life to preventing bioterrorism harming everyday people. he's someone that you might see walking amongst us in our daily lives. leon has to carry the weight of unbearable and terrifying horrors of science on his back every day, and the terrible afterthought of those who he was unable to save. leon risks his life for the sake of others, just as a random police officer had done for him when he was younger. leon lives for justice. rather than giving up in the face of these monstrosities, he lives on in order to protect the people that put their faith in him. he was once a rookie cop wanting to contribute to justice and peace like someone had done for him, and he was ruined and traumatized by the corruption and betrayal of a shady corporation involved with the government - the government that swore to protect their people - by forcing him into becoming the federal agent that he is now. i'd like to think that leon has a few other hobbies other than preventing bioterrorism though. probably not.
leon is a huge movie lover. leon is apart of the fatass nose squad. leon has a bit of a drinking problem. it is alluded to that leon is an ex-smoker. what brought leon to make the conscious effort to quit smoking? i can ask all of these pointless questions, but they'll never be answered. but leon is such an interesting character to me i cant help wondering what his day to day life really is. i wish there was a game like that. with all of the characters. chris going shopping with claire, wesker tripping over a curb and then lighting up everyone within the vicinity, leon watching tv at home, jill buying flowers, billy living in the sewers, ada going to a fancy resturaunt. stuff like that. that would be great. anyway, i got extremely off topic there. i want to dye my hair back to blond but my hair is black. im cursed with this. i wanna go back, but im gonna have to let my roots grow back out. i wonder if you can guess why i wanna go back to blond again. a certain man who does not concern himself with unnecessary tactical rolls... im gonna be stuck with black hair until i inevitably go grey.
anyway, a bit of a funny thing happened today. i was at college and my math ( i had to retake it :( ) teacher has finally memorized my name. for context, my real name is german, but i am very much not from germany. he said "ohh, thats a german name." and i said "yeah haha". he asks me if i'm from germany, and i said no, i only have a german name. then he says, "can you speak german?" obviously i say no, cuz all i know how to say is "ja, herr forehead, and bibliothek". then he starts speaking a random german sentence to me and i had no idea what it meant. he said "you don't know?" and i said "no, sorry" and we both laughed and moved on. i used to have a class in my old school with a russian guy, and teachers constantly pronounced his name wrong. it kinda felt like that. am i gonna have to have the same conversation when i introduce myself for the rest of my life? "hey, youre name is german. are you german" cuz it makes sense. i have one of the most common male german names of all time. am i gonna have to learn german to tackle this? but hey, its not all bad. there are a lot of international students in my class as well so my name is hardly the hardest name to pronounce. everyone knows how to pronounce my name, so theres no problem with that. maybe i can learn a bit of german from my dad. he coincidentally used to work in germany for a little bit fixing boats i think. or maybe it was making fiberglass. i cant remember. so he knows some conversational german. gutenmorgen sillian gruppe. wie geht es dir? im getting the hang of it already. i am seriously terrible at languages. i studied french for two years, so i know how to say biblioteque and rouge. i know a tiny bit of french and german, but japanese is the language im most fluent in out of the ones i've studied. i like senryus and haikus. i even tried russian for a short while. very short.
here are some my my pseudo-senryus that ive written :)
ともだちは怠惰なです - my friends are lazy
（５－８－５）
助けてよ help me
俺は詰まっている i'm stuck in here
早く出してくれ dig me out already
his friend is distracted by something while he is stuck in the hole.
かっこいいの川柳 - my cool senryu
（５－６－５）
風が吹く the wind blows
風が顔に the wind
吹きついた blows in my face
だよね．うるさいな
i hate when the summer breeze blows in my face and messes up my hair.
猫とドジ男子 - the cat and the clumsy man
（５－７－６）
"逃げるなよ" dont run away
猫が言っていた said the cat.
腕がいたい my arm hurts.
man is running from cat after he scratches him.
this entry is too long! so i'm going to end it here. if i write more senryus, maybe i can have a whole section of the site dedicated to them. i hope you enjoyed my pseudo-senryus and today's entry. please have a good day :)
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
MIKE !!!!
September 13th 2025, 9:41PM
hey, hope you've been doing well. its been 12 days..........................
very sorry. i started college on the 4th and ive been dying ever since. the only reason i'm writing this is cuz its the weekend. i was working myself to death for 3 hours on an art assignment thats due in 2 DAYS when i was extremely tired and stressed. why am i even rushing. i just hate seeing half finished work that looks bad. i was getting so worked up for no reason lol. anyway, college has been alright. i remember the entries i used to write saying "MANNN I HATE SCHOOL XX MONTHS LEFT" and its kinda funny to think about now. i took law and im planning on dropping it cuz it sucks. sorry prospective solicitors or legal executives. i just cant take it anymore!!!!!! my philosophy class is good though. my deskmates are nice and im getting to know them. my philosophy teacher likes resident evil and he put a bunch of resident evil screenshots into our philosophy workbook. AND IT SOUNDS INSANE SO I HAVE A PICTURE TO SHOW YOU. so you believe me. im too lazy to take a picture of it now so ill just keep writing and put it at the end. my commute is very stressful. i live in the suburbs kinda far away from my college so im basically stranded if my phone runs out cuz it has my ticket on it. there have been 2 close calls so far. also i bought a magnum from the cafeteria it was good. moving on, ive almost beaten resident evil 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its been so long...ive gotten so much better at the game. im at the saddler boss fight and as soon as i died once i just turned the game off cuz i was tired. yesterday. ive died like 150 times. i went through a portion of the game where i had absolutely ZERO ammo from the confinement room to the road to the annex. it was AWFUL. i had to keep running back and forth. i think the most amount of ammo i had between that time was 5 handgun bullets. when you have to operate that wrecking ball in the scrap yard, i thought i'd be softlocked forever and id have to restart from a save from ages ago. i was shitting myself the whole time. but i did it! resident evil no ammo challenge. k sorry. and yeah! ive finally beaten it after 20 hours. im gonna miss re4. im not gonna play the remake cuz its not the same :(. i can play assignment ada though. i dont really wanna play the whole game over again so i think ill just play resident evil 5. the most i have ever sneezed at a time was 4 times. is it possible to sneeze more than that? its interesting.
i was watching a video about the top 15 gayest metal gear characters of all time. obviously ocelot was at the top, but i found it funny that the two characters who lived their entire life together and adopted a CHILD TOGETHER were only number 13 and 14 on the list. how gay does your franchise have to be to have solid snake and otacon at the bottom 😭 😭 its not even funny how gay metal gear is and it isnt even on accident. it has some of the craziest queer representation of all time and its the stupidest. i love it. i started wondering about the top 15 gayest yakuza and resident evil characters (cuz i like them) and it was a little trickier to think of any.
by the way my twitter isnt @bimbinbao anymore! i changed it to @silly_fellerbob lol. but i dont really post on there much! maybe i should. i dont go on twitter cuz it makes me sad.. so i usually just watch youtube. i found a new band called phantom city. apparently they're native japanese and i had no idea before because they sound so fluent. they sing in english and japanese. i think my favorite song that ive listened to by them is key to your body. at first i was confused as to why the song was called that because it wasnt said in the song at all. i thought they were saying 出来る your body (i can do your body 😭) but yeah it wasnt that, they were saying the key to your body. the title. it made me chuckle a little though. i like their song dan as well. i like it when singers belt. their vocals are very powerful and cool. and they have a nice piano and violin solo in dan and it felt kinda beautiful. and they're only made up of 3 members! so you wont need to remember a bunch of names. they're damien, zed and vinnie. i dont usually listen to music like theirs, i tend to just listen to video game osts and 80s japanese pop and other stuff but their songs are super catchy so i like them! ill leave a song from them down below so you can check them out if you'd like :)! thanks for reading, and have a good day!!
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
kimura from hajime no ippo
August 30th 2025, 12:15 PM
hello! hope you're doing well. i guess i dont really have much to say this entry. i'm starting my first day at college soon. on the 4th. im going on holiday and i'll be back the same day, so i think that i'll just take the day off. 4 days ago, i started work on making a game. hopefully it wont take too long to finish, but ive started to get a little worried. i wont have as much time to waste making things because of college. 2 out of 3 courses that i chose have no coursework at all, but im taking fine art as the third, which will be a MASSIVE pain. i took art at my old school for 4 years and it was hell. at least it'll only be 2 years this time. i think in america college lasts 3 years? and you only major in one subject im pretty sure, but ive heard of double majors. i dunno. in my country, its mandatory to take at least 3 A levels or 2 A levels and an AS. its gonna be so sad... hopefully my timetable is good so i can just go to my lessons in the afternoon then come home and do whatever. please plese please. please pray for me. I DONT WANT TO WAKE UP EARLY. I DONT WANNA HAVE 3 CLASSES IN ONE DAY. I DONT WANT ANY BIG GAPS BETWEEN CLASSES. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!!! i just like making fun things all day. i like it when people enjoy my work. it makes me happy to see someone enjoy and get something out of it. now i have to learn again. itll definitely be better than secondary school. all my friends are there. itll be fun. i can go home whenever i want as long as i have no classes. itll be fine. itll be great. ill still have time to waste on my useless pasttimes. definitely.
i guess im just worried about something that doesnt even matter, as usual. i know that itll be fine. and even if it isnt, ill still waste time making trinkets and art and games and whatever the hell like i always do. forever and ever. :) TLDR, sillian wont be updating as much now because im going to college. and making a game. i know that it doesnt look like im doing much, but im really cooking up something. i love this place to death, so not having as much time to work on it sucks. but ill definitely get it done. i totally refuse to give up. if its something that i want to do, i always pull through. and i love working on sillian, so its not like its a chore. hopefully my holiday is fun. i get homesick pretty easily, and i cant sleep at all if its in a place that im not used to. it just feels weird. but i still want to have fun. ill write all about it :D
as always, thank you for reading. please stay safe.
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
kuzu
August 18th 2025, 10:20PM AM
MY EYE STINGS SO BAD. I RUBBED MY EYE LIKE ONCE AND NOW IM CRYING. hey, hope you're doing well. how do you qualify as an artist? i've been struggling to answer this question for a while. id consider myself an artist, but i hesitate to call myself one. do you have to be at a certain skill level to be an artist? do you have to have spent a certain amount of time making art to be an artist? do you have to make art consistently in order to be an artist? do you have to make multiple different kinds of art to be an artist? no, no, no, and no. you just have to make art. and enjoy it. thats what id say! and yet i still struggle to call myself an "artist". ive been drawing for quite a while. i draw quite a lot too. i plan on persuing a career in art. i enjoy drawing. and i spend time making sure every piece of art is as good as it can be. why cant i call myself an artist?
i think one of the reasons that i feel strange calling myself an artist is because i'm insecure about my skill level. i dunno, i wouldnt say that i'm bad. but i have so much more room to improve. im my worst critic, and i think that because im not as good as i want to be, i cant call myself an "artist". im proud of my work most of the time. but then i start thinking "what if i've just gone faceblind? what if i cant actually see how bad it is, and everyone else thinks that it sucks?" and this is probably because i used to have this problem. when i first started drawing, rather than looking at the quality of my art as a whole, i'd look at how much i had improved since the last drawing i had made. which was usually quite a lot. so id always be proud of my drawings. even though they sucked. i still look at my art and see the same quality of artwork that i had made years ago, even though i KNOWWWWWW that ive improved a hell of a lot. what the hell? which is probably because...im insecure. it all loops around. ive worked so hard. ive clearly improved.
the first drawing is one of the oldest drawings i could get from my google drive lol. the second one is a sketch of kanade, which was made on august 4th. i think ive improved. seeing them next to each other makes me feel a little better. whatever!!! its fine long as im having fun. thanks for reading this entry. it sucks today lol. i hope you have a good day!!!
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
hikaru cool and awesome.
August 6th 2025, 2:55 PM
hey! hope you're alright. i just had one of the funniest and bestest dreams of my life, so before i forget ill write it here. i woke up like 3 minutes ago. alright, it all starts with hikaru and yoshiki from the summer hikaru died being stuck in a scary dark forest in roblox. the place looked like a classic roblox map but it was all dark and dense with forest. hikaru goes to explore a scary (roblox) house and finds a strange symbol carved on the wall and presses his hand against it. he then gets swallowed up by a hole, and he goes to my dream's version of hell or something. during all of this yoshiki is exploring the forest outside, but then he realizes hikaru is missing. he goes to find him and comes across the house, and he sees that the symbol carved in the wall is smoking and charred. he starts freaking out, and then basically the devil appears. he tells yoshiki that "you will never see your friend again, hes in hell" or something along those lines. my dreams dont have much talking in them. then yoshiki goes nuts and starts losing his mind at how he looked away for 10 seconds and hikaru is now in a different dimension. yoshiki begs the devil to let him into hell just so he can see him again, and the devil agrees and sends him down there as well. yoshiki is taken to a place that is reminiscent of a castle, with tall lightly colored cobbled walls and nice deep aqua carpet that seemed to go on for an eternity in a straight line. there were no rooms. you could only walk straight. it was quite bright in there. there were windows sat in rows along the whole castle, but all that you could see out of them was bright white light. anyway yoshiki starts exploring the castle, probably going absolutely nuts, i cant remember. then he reaches a door somewhere, and he opens it. it was a brown slab oak door with a bolt and chain on it. if u care lol. looked like it was from the 18th century. anyway he opens the door to a dead end. but theres a broken window, a note, and another one of those symbols carved on the wall that was also smoking and charred. long story short, hikaru found a way to escape hell to go and find yoshiki again, and hes back home (roblox scary forest), still looking for him. yoshiki is still stuck in hell with no hikaru. i dont know what was on the note, or why there was a broken window. then the dream ended. i am so into this series and it has now entered my dreams. they make me feel sick. it was one of the best dreams that ive had for a long time, along with the time that leon kennedy and phoenix wright were playing baseball together at sports day. anyway, i hope you enjoyed.
anyway enough of that. i bought a sony walkman NWD-B105 today. because of persona 3 obviously. i just like that there is a specific gadget that you use to listen to music. a designated listening device. i have a perfectly normal phone, but its less cool... that one is for my alarm and emails and pinterest and to remind me to water my plant. i wanted a funny gadget specifically used to listen to music, not 1000 other things also because it runs my battery down too quick. ALSO NO ADS YAY! my dad came into my room and said that he'd send me warhammer 40k lore videos once i got it to listen on the bus and he was gonna send me a 3 hour long one lol. he still listens to them sometimes even though hes never played the game cuz he wanted to play it when he was my age. ??? will i still be the exact same? watching persona lore videos. instead of the x files and star wars, its resident evil and persona. im going to the plant store with my mom tomorrow. im excited to get a new plant.. ive proved myself worthy by not letting my plant die for at least 6 months! crazy. im going to get a nice lavender plant :) well, thats all! thanks for reading :D
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
imposter syndrome is not real to me. get away stupid bug.
September 30th 2025, 3:14AM
jesus, im tired. i hope youre having a good day. like i said from the last entry, i ended up making another part of the site specifically for one of my drawings of roro that i had made lol. it tells you a little bit about her as well. but i had fun, so it was worth sacrificing my sleep time. just click on the thumbnail to get to it. please be warned that it definitely doesn't look like the rest of the site, it looks more like the stuff i've been working on for sillian recently lol. im also gonna make some pages that look similar to the current site, cuz it just hurts my sappy heart to wipe it away completely. so, today's thumbnail entry is the biggest evil bad guy criminal stupidhead ever, who ends up getting killed in one of my stories by the hero (called yamada). it took me so long to finish drawing him. i put another entry thumbnail as the start of this drawing as well. i really like drawing faces and figures. but i feel like my creativity has dwindled a little. ill get back up there. ive definitely improved!! sometimes i just look at my old google drive full of my old art and its like i get a flick in the forehead and i feel a bit better about my art. but i still have a long way to go.
k im back. i made a burger. burger, lettuce, ketchup, mustard, the usual. it tasted average. i got kinda scared downstairs cuz i dont like being alone down there. im afraid of ghosts and stuff. sounds stupid. i made a cup of tea too, so im full now. so yeah hope you enjoyed my completely pointless burger talk. right now im listening to latte asmr. latte is literally the only asmrist i can fall asleep to. shes wonderful and so talented!!!!! sometimes i listen to her videos when i draw which probably isnt very productive. im watching her robot cleaning lady video. please watch if u havent youll literally fall asleep like a log!!!!
well, im super duper tired so ill stop here. im glad that i could write today. thanks for reading! i hope you have a good rest of your day. :)
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
this week flew by!!!!!!
September 29th 2025, 1:17AM
heya :) hope youre good! today's entry thumbnail is the wonderful roro. i made her. her name used to be saya yamabuki but i couldnt keep ripping off bandori so i changed it lol. shes been around for years but ive only really drawn her twice. i only write about her character and stuff. i wish this stupid image would be better quality. k sorry this entry took 2 extra days to write cuz i was gonna create another part of the site for her but neocities is acting up for some reason and not doing what i want it to do. im angry!!! i had a hot chocolate today. i also bought some clothes. last time i bought clothes was a year ago i think, except from christmas presents. i hate spending money on clothes cuz it feels like im wasting money!!!! what else am i gonna do with it??? nothing. im not a fashionista..i like collecting trinkets... i have class tomorrow at 9:40 AM. i have a 2 hour art class but i wanna draw my funny guys for the website. also my dad is STILL talking about rusty river and the rustbuckets. its cuz i mentioned that i wanted to get another shirt printed with a design i made and he politely reminded me that he asked me to make him 3 album covers, 5 flyers and 10 tshirt designs for his fake band that he wanted to put on spotify and trick people with. ??? i just went to get a cup of tea and i dropped one of my cheese and onion flavored potato snacks into my tea. it still tasted ok. it was an interesting combination. im sorry i have literally nothing to say this entry. maybe ill get roro's part of the website up and running eventually and ill come back and link it here lol. well i hope you've been doing well. have you eaten anything good lately? seen what color the sky is? slept good? i cant hear your answer, but i hope you've had many good things happen. i hope you enjoy my stupid ramblings. its strange to think that you know nothing of me except seriously stupid situations that ive been in. even so, id like to thank you for letting me tell you them. i hope you enjoy today and all of the days to come until the sun explodes. thanks for reading! :D
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
will i ever be able to draw a man that isn't some kind of clone of him
September 26th 2025, 7:45AM
hey! hope youre doing great! i dont have to take law anymore!!! i switched over to english lit today. i start tomorrow. so im happy about that! anyway, do you ever get this? where you hear someone's name, but you don't fully take it in? like how it sounds, or the essence of their name? i dont know how to explain it. sometimes i just have these bazoing moments where i finally hear someone's name in my head clearly and it actually sounds like a name. most names just sound like random sounds to me. ive finally realized that miles's name is miles. i mean ive known his name for a long while, but i never fully took it in. maybe i just sound stupid. but do you ever feel like that? its a strange feeling. miles is one of my favorite characters of all time. he's so wonderful. recently i was playing the ace attorney trilogy and ace attorney investigations 1 and 2 demos with my dad and he seemed to like him as well. he was kinda bullying him but we both had a great time. he even caught onto narumitsu and it was unbearable sitting next to him for a while. "do they have something going on?" etc. no dad. i dont think they do. it was way funner playing investigations than the mainline series together cuz its a lot more fun just investigating crime scenes. sadly we were only trying out the demo... but it was fun to share my interest with someone else. i started drawing those stupid airvents on his head in a lot of my own art too. ace attorney itself has effected my artstyle quite a bit lol.
ive been feeling kind of boring lately. maybe i should do some cool things. what should i do? become a skater? learn how to spraypaint? learn how to dance? ive been meaning to play pingpong lately. i love pingpong. its the best sport. so i think ill do that. ill report back my findings once i do it. once again i fell asleep on the bus today. both there and back. it was noisy as hell but i was just so tired. i can seriously sleep anywhere. doesnt matter where. bowling alley? sure. a bench right next to a busy road? done it. hardwood flooring? yes. in a flooded tent with a massive puddle submerging me in it? yes. and it was hell. but i still slept. a crowded bus is nothing. i kept accidentally falling asleep. my dad keeps getting mad at me cuz he thinks that i'll miss my stop one day and end up in the middle of nowhere. hes probably right, but ive been having some long days lately. im sure itll be fine. the latest im out for is 8 till 6 on some days. days like that just wipe me out. can you really blame me? im a sleepy dude. why should i be made to endure my tiredness? slumber just calls me. i cant really do much about it. but i probably should stop this habit while i still can otherwise i will probably end up in the middle of nowhere. well, thats all i have to say. halloween is soon. i like festive things. ive always wanted to draw a halloween themed drawing but im always too late to. anyway, thats all. :) thanks for reading and please stay safe!
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
i hate weekdays!!!!!
September 23rd 2025, 4:16AM
hey you! luckily i get to wake up at 11 today or id be screwed. i worked on today's entry thumbnail allllll night. hes still nowhere near done lol. hopefully i dont lose my spunk and forget how to draw tomorrow. most of the time when i try to look back at how i started a drawing i just think "how did i even do that" so i have to look back at the timelapse. im sorry for the poor quality, i couldnt really put it here in its original size lol. maybe ill put it somewhere. he looks like a ripoff of sakuragi from slam dunk. i have art today as well. im dying. but everything is good cuz i drank some tasty juice last night :) my dad keeps trying to convince me to switch over to a graphic design course, and hes slowly convincing me. he made up a whole elaborate plan to trick me into practicing it through a niche western country band he made up called "rusty river and the rustbuckets". theyre a trio of guitar, drums and singer (rusty river) and rusty river has a big head cuz he likes being in the spotlight. my dad said he needed 3 album covers for his new parody band to trick people into thinking that his band was really real on the internet. he said he'd pay me 120 bucks for 3 album covers. then i realized he was tricking me. he was trying to get me to graphic design. i really liked the idea of drawing cowboys to be honest. but i ended up drawing knockoff sakuragi instead. :) im tired so i wanna sleep. i missed the bus twice yesterday so i just wanna get a good start today and have a good day. i got my picture frame by the way. its TINY. i thought it'd be so much bigger but its like 2 inches wide. it was funny unwrapping it. i put a picture of leon in it. ill put it as the next entry thumbnail :) i started writing this but i can barely spell properly right now. many many spellchecks. im gonna go to bed. thanks for reading and stay safe :)
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
i love the weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 21st 2025, 1:18AM
hello and i hope you've been well!! today's entry thumbnail is art from the FIGHTING GAME INCIDENT on the right. if you haven't read the entry where i talked about it, it's from august 3rd! the entry where i talked about it was slightly misleading, because i said that "i drew two characters i had completely made up for the occasion", but that was a lie. that was the first ever sketch i had done of kanade and yamada together. if you don't know who i'm talking about, please read my terrible entry from august 14th! or the yamakana shrine that i haven't finished yet if you're reading this way into the future lol. the art on the right is a very early sketch of yamada. he was supposed to have much spikier hair. his personality was originally going to be a lot more serious and stuck-up. very not the case now. and the art on the left is something i drew a few days ago. i wanted to redraw my old yamada sketch from late april cuz i wasn't happy with it, but i thought that it'd be cute if i made it kanade instead. i just wanted to prove to myself that i've improved. kanade's hair isn't actually white, its black. kinda confusing sorry. i wanted to change the color palette a little. yknow sometimes i wonder how im gonna get a career. am i really gonna be the guy designing the next leon for resident evil 24.
i was watching brad mondo yesterday and i told my mom. she was laughing about it and asked me if i was watching one if his bleach hair fail videos but i was just watching the haircut ones. so i tried watching a bleach fail one, and god they are awful. i hate the haircut ones more though cuz at least if you bleach it you can try and correct the color. once you cut your hair its just gone forever. its so hard to watch lol. its funny that brad mondo is kind of a household name though. it must be cuz of facebook cuz my mom always watches his videos on there. well, i have literally nothing else to say. i ordered a picture frame. its pretty cute. i dont have a picture to put in it and i only bought it because it looked nice lol. ill just put an image of leon in there or something.
these are my favorite leon images of all time. the one on the right is my psp wallpaper lol. its kinda beautiful. ive genuinely wanted cargo pants like leon's for such a long time. i should just get some already. ive run out of things to say. ill end it here! i hope you've have a good day. thank you for reading and please stay safe. :)
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
"cans and jars; all nonperishables. reminds me of the days of o.r.e."
September 17th 2025, 8:05PM
today's entry thumbnail has to be one of the hardest images i've ever saved on my computer. hello, i hope you're doing well! i have a problem that i want to talk about. i'm close to finishing resident evil 4, and i'm getting insanely engrossed in the character of leon kennedy. i think he's a wonderfully written character. even in re4, in a game that took half of it's inspiration from b-rated action movies. i really appreciate him and he's pushed me to be a lot more brave. i love how they writ his unending witty, sarcastic humor and charm, but also took the time to really explore what effect re2 had on him. leon kennedy isn't a superhero, or a genius, and he doesn't have superhuman strength (although the moves he sometimes pulls off are just outrageous). he is just a regular guy that dedicates his life to preventing bioterrorism harming everyday people. he's someone that you might see walking amongst us in our daily lives. leon has to carry the weight of unbearable and terrifying horrors of science on his back every day, and the terrible afterthought of those who he was unable to save. leon risks his life for the sake of others, just as a random police officer had done for him when he was younger. leon lives for justice. rather than giving up in the face of these monstrosities, he lives on in order to protect the people that put their faith in him. he was once a rookie cop wanting to contribute to justice and peace like someone had done for him, and he was ruined and traumatized by the corruption and betrayal of a shady corporation involved with the government - the government that swore to protect their people - by forcing him into becoming the federal agent that he is now. i'd like to think that leon has a few other hobbies other than preventing bioterrorism though. probably not.
leon is a huge movie lover. leon is apart of the fatass nose squad. leon has a bit of a drinking problem. it is alluded to that leon is an ex-smoker. what brought leon to make the conscious effort to quit smoking? i can ask all of these pointless questions, but they'll never be answered. but leon is such an interesting character to me i cant help wondering what his day to day life really is. i wish there was a game like that. with all of the characters. chris going shopping with claire, wesker tripping over a curb and then lighting up everyone within the vicinity, leon watching tv at home, jill buying flowers, billy living in the sewers, ada going to a fancy resturaunt. stuff like that. that would be great. anyway, i got extremely off topic there. i want to dye my hair back to blond but my hair is black. im cursed with this. i wanna go back, but im gonna have to let my roots grow back out. i wonder if you can guess why i wanna go back to blond again. a certain man who does not concern himself with unnecessary tactical rolls... im gonna be stuck with black hair until i inevitably go grey.
anyway, a bit of a funny thing happened today. i was at college and my math ( i had to retake it :( ) teacher has finally memorized my name. for context, my real name is german, but i am very much not from germany. he said "ohh, thats a german name." and i said "yeah haha". he asks me if i'm from germany, and i said no, i only have a german name. then he says, "can you speak german?" obviously i say no, cuz all i know how to say is "ja, herr forehead, and bibliothek". then he starts speaking a random german sentence to me and i had no idea what it meant. he said "you don't know?" and i said "no, sorry" and we both laughed and moved on. i used to have a class in my old school with a russian guy, and teachers constantly pronounced his name wrong. it kinda felt like that. am i gonna have to have the same conversation when i introduce myself for the rest of my life? "hey, youre name is german. are you german" cuz it makes sense. i have one of the most common male german names of all time. am i gonna have to learn german to tackle this? but hey, its not all bad. there are a lot of international students in my class as well so my name is hardly the hardest name to pronounce. everyone knows how to pronounce my name, so theres no problem with that. maybe i can learn a bit of german from my dad. he coincidentally used to work in germany for a little bit fixing boats i think. or maybe it was making fiberglass. i cant remember. so he knows some conversational german. gutenmorgen sillian gruppe. wie geht es dir? im getting the hang of it already. i am seriously terrible at languages. i studied french for two years, so i know how to say biblioteque and rouge. i know a tiny bit of french and german, but japanese is the language im most fluent in out of the ones i've studied. i like senryus and haikus. i even tried russian for a short while. very short.
here are some my my pseudo-senryus that ive written :)
ともだちは怠惰なです - my friends are lazy
（５－８－５）
助けてよ help me
俺は詰まっている i'm stuck in here
早く出してくれ dig me out already
his friend is distracted by something while he is stuck in the hole.
かっこいいの川柳 - my cool senryu
（５－６－５）
風が吹く the wind blows
風が顔に the wind
吹きついた blows in my face
だよね．うるさいな
i hate when the summer breeze blows in my face and messes up my hair.
猫とドジ男子 - the cat and the clumsy man
（５－７－６）
"逃げるなよ" dont run away
猫が言っていた said the cat.
腕がいたい my arm hurts.
man is running from cat after he scratches him.
this entry is too long! so i'm going to end it here. if i write more senryus, maybe i can have a whole section of the site dedicated to them. i hope you enjoyed my pseudo-senryus and today's entry. please have a good day :)
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
MIKE !!!!
September 13th 2025, 9:41PM
hey, hope you've been doing well. its been 12 days..........................
very sorry. i started college on the 4th and ive been dying ever since. the only reason i'm writing this is cuz its the weekend. i was working myself to death for 3 hours on an art assignment thats due in 2 DAYS when i was extremely tired and stressed. why am i even rushing. i just hate seeing half finished work that looks bad. i was getting so worked up for no reason lol. anyway, college has been alright. i remember the entries i used to write saying "MANNN I HATE SCHOOL XX MONTHS LEFT" and its kinda funny to think about now. i took law and im planning on dropping it cuz it sucks. sorry prospective solicitors or legal executives. i just cant take it anymore!!!!!! my philosophy class is good though. my deskmates are nice and im getting to know them. my philosophy teacher likes resident evil and he put a bunch of resident evil screenshots into our philosophy workbook. AND IT SOUNDS INSANE SO I HAVE A PICTURE TO SHOW YOU. so you believe me. im too lazy to take a picture of it now so ill just keep writing and put it at the end. my commute is very stressful. i live in the suburbs kinda far away from my college so im basically stranded if my phone runs out cuz it has my ticket on it. there have been 2 close calls so far. also i bought a magnum from the cafeteria it was good. moving on, ive almost beaten resident evil 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its been so long...ive gotten so much better at the game. im at the saddler boss fight and as soon as i died once i just turned the game off cuz i was tired. yesterday. ive died like 150 times. i went through a portion of the game where i had absolutely ZERO ammo from the confinement room to the road to the annex. it was AWFUL. i had to keep running back and forth. i think the most amount of ammo i had between that time was 5 handgun bullets. when you have to operate that wrecking ball in the scrap yard, i thought i'd be softlocked forever and id have to restart from a save from ages ago. i was shitting myself the whole time. but i did it! resident evil no ammo challenge. k sorry. and yeah! ive finally beaten it after 20 hours. im gonna miss re4. im not gonna play the remake cuz its not the same :(. i can play assignment ada though. i dont really wanna play the whole game over again so i think ill just play resident evil 5. the most i have ever sneezed at a time was 4 times. is it possible to sneeze more than that? its interesting.
i was watching a video about the top 15 gayest metal gear characters of all time. obviously ocelot was at the top, but i found it funny that the two characters who lived their entire life together and adopted a CHILD TOGETHER were only number 13 and 14 on the list. how gay does your franchise have to be to have solid snake and otacon at the bottom 😭 😭 its not even funny how gay metal gear is and it isnt even on accident. it has some of the craziest queer representation of all time and its the stupidest. i love it. i started wondering about the top 15 gayest yakuza and resident evil characters (cuz i like them) and it was a little trickier to think of any.
by the way my twitter isnt @bimbinbao anymore! i changed it to @silly_fellerbob lol. but i dont really post on there much! maybe i should. i dont go on twitter cuz it makes me sad.. so i usually just watch youtube. i found a new band called phantom city. apparently they're native japanese and i had no idea before because they sound so fluent. they sing in english and japanese. i think my favorite song that ive listened to by them is key to your body. at first i was confused as to why the song was called that because it wasnt said in the song at all. i thought they were saying 出来る your body (i can do your body 😭) but yeah it wasnt that, they were saying the key to your body. the title. it made me chuckle a little though. i like their song dan as well. i like it when singers belt. their vocals are very powerful and cool. and they have a nice piano and violin solo in dan and it felt kinda beautiful. and they're only made up of 3 members! so you wont need to remember a bunch of names. they're damien, zed and vinnie. i dont usually listen to music like theirs, i tend to just listen to video game osts and 80s japanese pop and other stuff but their songs are super catchy so i like them! ill leave a song from them down below so you can check them out if you'd like :)! thanks for reading, and have a good day!!
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
kimura from hajime no ippo
August 30th 2025, 12:15 PM
hello! hope you're doing well. i guess i dont really have much to say this entry. i'm starting my first day at college soon. on the 4th. im going on holiday and i'll be back the same day, so i think that i'll just take the day off. 4 days ago, i started work on making a game. hopefully it wont take too long to finish, but ive started to get a little worried. i wont have as much time to waste making things because of college. 2 out of 3 courses that i chose have no coursework at all, but im taking fine art as the third, which will be a MASSIVE pain. i took art at my old school for 4 years and it was hell. at least it'll only be 2 years this time. i think in america college lasts 3 years? and you only major in one subject im pretty sure, but ive heard of double majors. i dunno. in my country, its mandatory to take at least 3 A levels or 2 A levels and an AS. its gonna be so sad... hopefully my timetable is good so i can just go to my lessons in the afternoon then come home and do whatever. please plese please. please pray for me. I DONT WANT TO WAKE UP EARLY. I DONT WANNA HAVE 3 CLASSES IN ONE DAY. I DONT WANT ANY BIG GAPS BETWEEN CLASSES. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!!! i just like making fun things all day. i like it when people enjoy my work. it makes me happy to see someone enjoy and get something out of it. now i have to learn again. itll definitely be better than secondary school. all my friends are there. itll be fun. i can go home whenever i want as long as i have no classes. itll be fine. itll be great. ill still have time to waste on my useless pasttimes. definitely.
i guess im just worried about something that doesnt even matter, as usual. i know that itll be fine. and even if it isnt, ill still waste time making trinkets and art and games and whatever the hell like i always do. forever and ever. :) TLDR, sillian wont be updating as much now because im going to college. and making a game. i know that it doesnt look like im doing much, but im really cooking up something. i love this place to death, so not having as much time to work on it sucks. but ill definitely get it done. i totally refuse to give up. if its something that i want to do, i always pull through. and i love working on sillian, so its not like its a chore. hopefully my holiday is fun. i get homesick pretty easily, and i cant sleep at all if its in a place that im not used to. it just feels weird. but i still want to have fun. ill write all about it :D
as always, thank you for reading. please stay safe.
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
kuzu
August 18th 2025, 10:20PM AM
MY EYE STINGS SO BAD. I RUBBED MY EYE LIKE ONCE AND NOW IM CRYING. hey, hope you're doing well. how do you qualify as an artist? i've been struggling to answer this question for a while. id consider myself an artist, but i hesitate to call myself one. do you have to be at a certain skill level to be an artist? do you have to have spent a certain amount of time making art to be an artist? do you have to make art consistently in order to be an artist? do you have to make multiple different kinds of art to be an artist? no, no, no, and no. you just have to make art. and enjoy it. thats what id say! and yet i still struggle to call myself an "artist". ive been drawing for quite a while. i draw quite a lot too. i plan on persuing a career in art. i enjoy drawing. and i spend time making sure every piece of art is as good as it can be. why cant i call myself an artist?
i think one of the reasons that i feel strange calling myself an artist is because i'm insecure about my skill level. i dunno, i wouldnt say that i'm bad. but i have so much more room to improve. im my worst critic, and i think that because im not as good as i want to be, i cant call myself an "artist". im proud of my work most of the time. but then i start thinking "what if i've just gone faceblind? what if i cant actually see how bad it is, and everyone else thinks that it sucks?" and this is probably because i used to have this problem. when i first started drawing, rather than looking at the quality of my art as a whole, i'd look at how much i had improved since the last drawing i had made. which was usually quite a lot. so id always be proud of my drawings. even though they sucked. i still look at my art and see the same quality of artwork that i had made years ago, even though i KNOWWWWWW that ive improved a hell of a lot. what the hell? which is probably because...im insecure. it all loops around. ive worked so hard. ive clearly improved.
the first drawing is one of the oldest drawings i could get from my google drive lol. the second one is a sketch of kanade, which was made on august 4th. i think ive improved. seeing them next to each other makes me feel a little better. whatever!!! its fine long as im having fun. thanks for reading this entry. it sucks today lol. i hope you have a good day!!!
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
hikaru cool and awesome.
August 6th 2025, 2:55 PM
hey! hope you're alright. i just had one of the funniest and bestest dreams of my life, so before i forget ill write it here. i woke up like 3 minutes ago. alright, it all starts with hikaru and yoshiki from the summer hikaru died being stuck in a scary dark forest in roblox. the place looked like a classic roblox map but it was all dark and dense with forest. hikaru goes to explore a scary (roblox) house and finds a strange symbol carved on the wall and presses his hand against it. he then gets swallowed up by a hole, and he goes to my dream's version of hell or something. during all of this yoshiki is exploring the forest outside, but then he realizes hikaru is missing. he goes to find him and comes across the house, and he sees that the symbol carved in the wall is smoking and charred. he starts freaking out, and then basically the devil appears. he tells yoshiki that "you will never see your friend again, hes in hell" or something along those lines. my dreams dont have much talking in them. then yoshiki goes nuts and starts losing his mind at how he looked away for 10 seconds and hikaru is now in a different dimension. yoshiki begs the devil to let him into hell just so he can see him again, and the devil agrees and sends him down there as well. yoshiki is taken to a place that is reminiscent of a castle, with tall lightly colored cobbled walls and nice deep aqua carpet that seemed to go on for an eternity in a straight line. there were no rooms. you could only walk straight. it was quite bright in there. there were windows sat in rows along the whole castle, but all that you could see out of them was bright white light. anyway yoshiki starts exploring the castle, probably going absolutely nuts, i cant remember. then he reaches a door somewhere, and he opens it. it was a brown slab oak door with a bolt and chain on it. if u care lol. looked like it was from the 18th century. anyway he opens the door to a dead end. but theres a broken window, a note, and another one of those symbols carved on the wall that was also smoking and charred. long story short, hikaru found a way to escape hell to go and find yoshiki again, and hes back home (roblox scary forest), still looking for him. yoshiki is still stuck in hell with no hikaru. i dont know what was on the note, or why there was a broken window. then the dream ended. i am so into this series and it has now entered my dreams. they make me feel sick. it was one of the best dreams that ive had for a long time, along with the time that leon kennedy and phoenix wright were playing baseball together at sports day. anyway, i hope you enjoyed.
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
i hate weekdays!!!!!
September 23rd 2025, 4:16AM
hey you! luckily i get to wake up at 11 today or id be screwed. i worked on today's entry thumbnail allllll night. hes still nowhere near done lol. hopefully i dont lose my spunk and forget how to draw tomorrow. most of the time when i try to look back at how i started a drawing i just think "how did i even do that" so i have to look back at the timelapse. im sorry for the poor quality, i couldnt really put it here in its original size lol. maybe ill put it somewhere. he looks like a ripoff of sakuragi from slam dunk. i have art today as well. im dying. but everything is good cuz i drank some tasty juice last night :) my dad keeps trying to convince me to switch over to a graphic design course, and hes slowly convincing me. he made up a whole elaborate plan to trick me into practicing it through a niche western country band he made up called "rusty river and the rustbuckets". theyre a trio of guitar, drums and singer (rusty river) and rusty river has a big head cuz he likes being in the spotlight. my dad said he needed 3 album covers for his new parody band to trick people into thinking that his band was really real on the internet. he said he'd pay me 120 bucks for 3 album covers. then i realized he was tricking me. he was trying to get me to graphic design. i really liked the idea of drawing cowboys to be honest. but i ended up drawing knockoff sakuragi instead. :) im tired so i wanna sleep. i missed the bus twice yesterday so i just wanna get a good start today and have a good day. i got my picture frame by the way. its TINY. i thought it'd be so much bigger but its like 2 inches wide. it was funny unwrapping it. i put a picture of leon in it. ill put it as the next entry thumbnail :) i started writing this but i can barely spell properly right now. many many spellchecks. im gonna go to bed. thanks for reading and stay safe :)
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
i love the weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 21st 2025, 1:18AM
hello and i hope you've been well!! today's entry thumbnail is art from the FIGHTING GAME INCIDENT on the right. if you haven't read the entry where i talked about it, it's from august 3rd! the entry where i talked about it was slightly misleading, because i said that "i drew two characters i had completely made up for the occasion", but that was a lie. that was the first ever sketch i had done of kanade and yamada together. if you don't know who i'm talking about, please read my terrible entry from august 14th! or the yamakana shrine that i haven't finished yet if you're reading this way into the future lol. the art on the right is a very early sketch of yamada. he was supposed to have much spikier hair. his personality was originally going to be a lot more serious and stuck-up. very not the case now. and the art on the left is something i drew a few days ago. i wanted to redraw my old yamada sketch from late april cuz i wasn't happy with it, but i thought that it'd be cute if i made it kanade instead. i just wanted to prove to myself that i've improved. kanade's hair isn't actually white, its black. kinda confusing sorry. i wanted to change the color palette a little. yknow sometimes i wonder how im gonna get a career. am i really gonna be the guy designing the next leon for resident evil 24.
i was watching brad mondo yesterday and i told my mom. she was laughing about it and asked me if i was watching one if his bleach hair fail videos but i was just watching the haircut ones. so i tried watching a bleach fail one, and god they are awful. i hate the haircut ones more though cuz at least if you bleach it you can try and correct the color. once you cut your hair its just gone forever. its so hard to watch lol. its funny that brad mondo is kind of a household name though. it must be cuz of facebook cuz my mom always watches his videos on there. well, i have literally nothing else to say. i ordered a picture frame. its pretty cute. i dont have a picture to put in it and i only bought it because it looked nice lol. ill just put an image of leon in there or something.
these are my favorite leon images of all time. the one on the right is my psp wallpaper lol. its kinda beautiful. ive genuinely wanted cargo pants like leon's for such a long time. i should just get some already. ive run out of things to say. ill end it here! i hope you've have a good day. thank you for reading and please stay safe. :)
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
"cans and jars; all nonperishables. reminds me of the days of o.r.e."
September 17th 2025, 8:05PM
today's entry thumbnail has to be one of the hardest images i've ever saved on my computer. hello, i hope you're doing well! i have a problem that i want to talk about. i'm close to finishing resident evil 4, and i'm getting insanely engrossed in the character of leon kennedy. i think he's a wonderfully written character. even in re4, in a game that took half of it's inspiration from b-rated action movies. i really appreciate him and he's pushed me to be a lot more brave. i love how they writ his unending witty, sarcastic humor and charm, but also took the time to really explore what effect re2 had on him. leon kennedy isn't a superhero, or a genius, and he doesn't have superhuman strength (although the moves he sometimes pulls off are just outrageous). he is just a regular guy that dedicates his life to preventing bioterrorism harming everyday people. he's someone that you might see walking amongst us in our daily lives. leon has to carry the weight of unbearable and terrifying horrors of science on his back every day, and the terrible afterthought of those who he was unable to save. leon risks his life for the sake of others, just as a random police officer had done for him when he was younger. leon lives for justice. rather than giving up in the face of these monstrosities, he lives on in order to protect the people that put their faith in him. he was once a rookie cop wanting to contribute to justice and peace like someone had done for him, and he was ruined and traumatized by the corruption and betrayal of a shady corporation involved with the government - the government that swore to protect their people - by forcing him into becoming the federal agent that he is now. i'd like to think that leon has a few other hobbies other than preventing bioterrorism though. probably not.
leon is a huge movie lover. leon is apart of the fatass nose squad. leon has a bit of a drinking problem. it is alluded to that leon is an ex-smoker. what brought leon to make the conscious effort to quit smoking? i can ask all of these pointless questions, but they'll never be answered. but leon is such an interesting character to me i cant help wondering what his day to day life really is. i wish there was a game like that. with all of the characters. chris going shopping with claire, wesker tripping over a curb and then lighting up everyone within the vicinity, leon watching tv at home, jill buying flowers, billy living in the sewers, ada going to a fancy resturaunt. stuff like that. that would be great. anyway, i got extremely off topic there. i want to dye my hair back to blond but my hair is black. im cursed with this. i wanna go back, but im gonna have to let my roots grow back out. i wonder if you can guess why i wanna go back to blond again. a certain man who does not concern himself with unnecessary tactical rolls... im gonna be stuck with black hair until i inevitably go grey.
anyway, a bit of a funny thing happened today. i was at college and my math ( i had to retake it :( ) teacher has finally memorized my name. for context, my real name is german, but i am very much not from germany. he said "ohh, thats a german name." and i said "yeah haha". he asks me if i'm from germany, and i said no, i only have a german name. then he says, "can you speak german?" obviously i say no, cuz all i know how to say is "ja, herr forehead, and bibliothek". then he starts speaking a random german sentence to me and i had no idea what it meant. he said "you don't know?" and i said "no, sorry" and we both laughed and moved on. i used to have a class in my old school with a russian guy, and teachers constantly pronounced his name wrong. it kinda felt like that. am i gonna have to have the same conversation when i introduce myself for the rest of my life? "hey, youre name is german. are you german" cuz it makes sense. i have one of the most common male german names of all time. am i gonna have to learn german to tackle this? but hey, its not all bad. there are a lot of international students in my class as well so my name is hardly the hardest name to pronounce. everyone knows how to pronounce my name, so theres no problem with that. maybe i can learn a bit of german from my dad. he coincidentally used to work in germany for a little bit fixing boats i think. or maybe it was making fiberglass. i cant remember. so he knows some conversational german. gutenmorgen sillian gruppe. wie geht es dir? im getting the hang of it already. i am seriously terrible at languages. i studied french for two years, so i know how to say biblioteque and rouge. i know a tiny bit of french and german, but japanese is the language im most fluent in out of the ones i've studied. i like senryus and haikus. i even tried russian for a short while. very short.
here are some my my pseudo-senryus that ive written :)
ともだちは怠惰なです - my friends are lazy
（５－８－５）
助けてよ help me
俺は詰まっている i'm stuck in here
早く出してくれ dig me out already
his friend is distracted by something while he is stuck in the hole.
かっこいいの川柳 - my cool senryu
（５－６－５）
風が吹く the wind blows
風が顔に the wind
吹きついた blows in my face
だよね．うるさいな
i hate when the summer breeze blows in my face and messes up my hair.
猫とドジ男子 - the cat and the clumsy man
（５－７－６）
"逃げるなよ" dont run away
猫が言っていた said the cat.
腕がいたい my arm hurts.
man is running from cat after he scratches him.
this entry is too long! so i'm going to end it here. if i write more senryus, maybe i can have a whole section of the site dedicated to them. i hope you enjoyed my pseudo-senryus and today's entry. please have a good day :)
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
MIKE !!!!
September 13th 2025, 9:41PM
hey, hope you've been doing well. its been 12 days..........................
very sorry. i started college on the 4th and ive been dying ever since. the only reason i'm writing this is cuz its the weekend. i was working myself to death for 3 hours on an art assignment thats due in 2 DAYS when i was extremely tired and stressed. why am i even rushing. i just hate seeing half finished work that looks bad. i was getting so worked up for no reason lol. anyway, college has been alright. i remember the entries i used to write saying "MANNN I HATE SCHOOL XX MONTHS LEFT" and its kinda funny to think about now. i took law and im planning on dropping it cuz it sucks. sorry prospective solicitors or legal executives. i just cant take it anymore!!!!!! my philosophy class is good though. my deskmates are nice and im getting to know them. my philosophy teacher likes resident evil and he put a bunch of resident evil screenshots into our philosophy workbook. AND IT SOUNDS INSANE SO I HAVE A PICTURE TO SHOW YOU. so you believe me. im too lazy to take a picture of it now so ill just keep writing and put it at the end. my commute is very stressful. i live in the suburbs kinda far away from my college so im basically stranded if my phone runs out cuz it has my ticket on it. there have been 2 close calls so far. also i bought a magnum from the cafeteria it was good. moving on, ive almost beaten resident evil 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its been so long...ive gotten so much better at the game. im at the saddler boss fight and as soon as i died once i just turned the game off cuz i was tired. yesterday. ive died like 150 times. i went through a portion of the game where i had absolutely ZERO ammo from the confinement room to the road to the annex. it was AWFUL. i had to keep running back and forth. i think the most amount of ammo i had between that time was 5 handgun bullets. when you have to operate that wrecking ball in the scrap yard, i thought i'd be softlocked forever and id have to restart from a save from ages ago. i was shitting myself the whole time. but i did it! resident evil no ammo challenge. k sorry. and yeah! ive finally beaten it after 20 hours. im gonna miss re4. im not gonna play the remake cuz its not the same :(. i can play assignment ada though. i dont really wanna play the whole game over again so i think ill just play resident evil 5. the most i have ever sneezed at a time was 4 times. is it possible to sneeze more than that? its interesting.
i was watching a video about the top 15 gayest metal gear characters of all time. obviously ocelot was at the top, but i found it funny that the two characters who lived their entire life together and adopted a CHILD TOGETHER were only number 13 and 14 on the list. how gay does your franchise have to be to have solid snake and otacon at the bottom 😭 😭 its not even funny how gay metal gear is and it isnt even on accident. it has some of the craziest queer representation of all time and its the stupidest. i love it. i started wondering about the top 15 gayest yakuza and resident evil characters (cuz i like them) and it was a little trickier to think of any.
by the way my twitter isnt @bimbinbao anymore! i changed it to @silly_fellerbob lol. but i dont really post on there much! maybe i should. i dont go on twitter cuz it makes me sad.. so i usually just watch youtube. i found a new band called phantom city. apparently they're native japanese and i had no idea before because they sound so fluent. they sing in english and japanese. i think my favorite song that ive listened to by them is key to your body. at first i was confused as to why the song was called that because it wasnt said in the song at all. i thought they were saying 出来る your body (i can do your body 😭) but yeah it wasnt that, they were saying the key to your body. the title. it made me chuckle a little though. i like their song dan as well. i like it when singers belt. their vocals are very powerful and cool. and they have a nice piano and violin solo in dan and it felt kinda beautiful. and they're only made up of 3 members! so you wont need to remember a bunch of names. they're damien, zed and vinnie. i dont usually listen to music like theirs, i tend to just listen to video game osts and 80s japanese pop and other stuff but their songs are super catchy so i like them! ill leave a song from them down below so you can check them out if you'd like :)! thanks for reading, and have a good day!!
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
kimura from hajime no ippo
August 30th 2025, 12:15 PM
hello! hope you're doing well. i guess i dont really have much to say this entry. i'm starting my first day at college soon. on the 4th. im going on holiday and i'll be back the same day, so i think that i'll just take the day off. 4 days ago, i started work on making a game. hopefully it wont take too long to finish, but ive started to get a little worried. i wont have as much time to waste making things because of college. 2 out of 3 courses that i chose have no coursework at all, but im taking fine art as the third, which will be a MASSIVE pain. i took art at my old school for 4 years and it was hell. at least it'll only be 2 years this time. i think in america college lasts 3 years? and you only major in one subject im pretty sure, but ive heard of double majors. i dunno. in my country, its mandatory to take at least 3 A levels or 2 A levels and an AS. its gonna be so sad... hopefully my timetable is good so i can just go to my lessons in the afternoon then come home and do whatever. please plese please. please pray for me. I DONT WANT TO WAKE UP EARLY. I DONT WANNA HAVE 3 CLASSES IN ONE DAY. I DONT WANT ANY BIG GAPS BETWEEN CLASSES. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!!! i just like making fun things all day. i like it when people enjoy my work. it makes me happy to see someone enjoy and get something out of it. now i have to learn again. itll definitely be better than secondary school. all my friends are there. itll be fun. i can go home whenever i want as long as i have no classes. itll be fine. itll be great. ill still have time to waste on my useless pasttimes. definitely.
i guess im just worried about something that doesnt even matter, as usual. i know that itll be fine. and even if it isnt, ill still waste time making trinkets and art and games and whatever the hell like i always do. forever and ever. :) TLDR, sillian wont be updating as much now because im going to college. and making a game. i know that it doesnt look like im doing much, but im really cooking up something. i love this place to death, so not having as much time to work on it sucks. but ill definitely get it done. i totally refuse to give up. if its something that i want to do, i always pull through. and i love working on sillian, so its not like its a chore. hopefully my holiday is fun. i get homesick pretty easily, and i cant sleep at all if its in a place that im not used to. it just feels weird. but i still want to have fun. ill write all about it :D
as always, thank you for reading. please stay safe.
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
kuzu
August 18th 2025, 10:20PM AM
MY EYE STINGS SO BAD. I RUBBED MY EYE LIKE ONCE AND NOW IM CRYING. hey, hope you're doing well. how do you qualify as an artist? i've been struggling to answer this question for a while. id consider myself an artist, but i hesitate to call myself one. do you have to be at a certain skill level to be an artist? do you have to have spent a certain amount of time making art to be an artist? do you have to make art consistently in order to be an artist? do you have to make multiple different kinds of art to be an artist? no, no, no, and no. you just have to make art. and enjoy it. thats what id say! and yet i still struggle to call myself an "artist". ive been drawing for quite a while. i draw quite a lot too. i plan on persuing a career in art. i enjoy drawing. and i spend time making sure every piece of art is as good as it can be. why cant i call myself an artist?
i think one of the reasons that i feel strange calling myself an artist is because i'm insecure about my skill level. i dunno, i wouldnt say that i'm bad. but i have so much more room to improve. im my worst critic, and i think that because im not as good as i want to be, i cant call myself an "artist". im proud of my work most of the time. but then i start thinking "what if i've just gone faceblind? what if i cant actually see how bad it is, and everyone else thinks that it sucks?" and this is probably because i used to have this problem. when i first started drawing, rather than looking at the quality of my art as a whole, i'd look at how much i had improved since the last drawing i had made. which was usually quite a lot. so id always be proud of my drawings. even though they sucked. i still look at my art and see the same quality of artwork that i had made years ago, even though i KNOWWWWWW that ive improved a hell of a lot. what the hell? which is probably because...im insecure. it all loops around. ive worked so hard. ive clearly improved.
the first drawing is one of the oldest drawings i could get from my google drive lol. the second one is a sketch of kanade, which was made on august 4th. i think ive improved. seeing them next to each other makes me feel a little better. whatever!!! its fine long as im having fun. thanks for reading this entry. it sucks today lol. i hope you have a good day!!!
SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !! SILLIAN !!
hikaru cool and awesome.
August 6th 2025, 2:55 PM
hey! hope you're alright. i just had one of the funniest and bestest dreams of my life, so before i forget ill write it here. i woke up like 3 minutes ago. alright, it all starts with hikaru and yoshiki from the summer hikaru died being stuck in a scary dark forest in roblox. the place looked like a classic roblox map but it was all dark and dense with forest. hikaru goes to explore a scary (roblox) house and finds a strange symbol carved on the wall and presses his hand against it. he then gets swallowed up by a hole, and he goes to my dream's version of hell or something. during all of this yoshiki is exploring the forest outside, but then he realizes hikaru is missing. he goes to find him and comes across the house, and he sees that the symbol carved in the wall is smoking and charred. he starts freaking out, and then basically the devil appears. he tells yoshiki that "you will never see your friend again, hes in hell" or something along those lines. my dreams dont have much talking in them. then yoshiki goes nuts and starts losing his mind at how he looked away for 10 seconds and hikaru is now in a different dimension. yoshiki begs the devil to let him into hell just so he can see him again, and the devil agrees and sends him down there as well. yoshiki is taken to a place that is reminiscent of a castle, with tall lightly colored cobbled walls and nice deep aqua carpet that seemed to go on for an eternity in a straight line. there were no rooms. you could only walk straight. it was quite bright in there. there were windows sat in rows along the whole castle, but all that you could see out of them was bright white light. anyway yoshiki starts exploring the castle, probably going absolutely nuts, i cant remember. then he reaches a door somewhere, and he opens it. it was a brown slab oak door with a bolt and chain on it. if u care lol. looked like it was from the 18th century. anyway he opens the door to a dead end. but theres a broken window, a note, and another one of those symbols carved on the wall that was also smoking and charred. long story short, hikaru found a way to escape hell to go and find yoshiki again, and hes back home (roblox scary forest), still looking for him. yoshiki is still stuck in hell with no hikaru. i dont know what was on the note, or why there was a broken window. then the dream ended. i am so into this series and it has now entered my dreams. they make me feel sick. it was one of the best dreams that ive had for a long time, along with the time that leon kennedy and phoenix wright were playing baseball together at sports day. anyway, i hope you enjoyed.
ともだちは怠惰なです - my friends are lazy
（５－８－５）
助けてよ help me
俺は詰まっている i'm stuck in here
早く出してくれ dig me out already
his friend is distracted by something while he is stuck in the hole.
かっこいいの川柳 - my cool senryu
（５－６－５）
風が吹く the wind blows
風が顔に the wind
吹きついた blows in my face
だよね．うるさいな
i hate when the summer breeze blows in my face and messes up my hair.
猫とドジ男子 - the cat and the clumsy man
（５－７－６）
"逃げるなよ" dont run away
猫が言っていた said the cat.
腕がいたい my arm hurts.
man is running from cat after he scratches him.
